ADHD: Fuel and Tax

I’ve never been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but living inside my own head, I know it’s there. It shapes the way I work, the way I think, and the way I move through life. And over time, I’ve come to think of ADHD as having two sides: fuel and tax.

The Fuel

This is the superpower. Hyperfocus.

When it kicks in, it feels like tapping into a limitless reserve of energy and creativity.

• Entire projects can be built in days.
• Ideas spark faster than I can write them down.
• Productivity reaches a level that even surprises me.

Mountains move when ADHD fuel is flowing. Apps get developed, problems get solved, and I feel unstoppable.

The Tax

But then comes the other side of it — the tax.

• Projects abandoned at 99% complete.
• Important things forgotten.
• Losing track of time, or losing my keys for the hundredth time.
• Struggling with the boring, repetitive, or administrative parts of life.

The tax is heavy. It makes me second-guess myself, doubt my abilities, and wonder why I can’t just finish the things I start.

Living With Both

ADHD is not all bad or all good. It’s a constant balancing act between fuel and tax. I’ve had to learn to celebrate the fuel — the energy and creativity that sets me apart — while also working around the tax with routines, systems, and self-compassion.

Because the truth is, both sides are part of who I am. The fuel drives me forward. The tax forces me to slow down, reassess, and find better ways of living.

And maybe that’s the real story:

ADHD isn’t a flaw or a gift, it’s both.